Independence Takes New Heights: Should Women Initiate Relationships?

According to AskMen.com, women are not initiators because we were taught not to be. I figured that much, look at classic gender socializing agents like Cinderella, Snow White, and Romeo & Juliet. The men are suppose to come and swipe us off our feet, right?! However, AskMen.com also brought some interesting reasons to light. Having men ask us out gives us the upper hand because we have the power to say yes or no. Do we really want to let go of that power? Also mentioned, was how women tested men based on their approach method. By allowing men to approach us we can assess whether or not he is insecure or too cocky.

Alright this sounds true to some extent so we did our own research. We asked several people both men and women their views on the issue. Here are the results:

60% of the women interviewed think men should make the first move, while 90% of the men interviewed not only thought women can make the first move, but most of them would be more likely to pursue a women who initiated the connection.

A.Gray, male, states, "It's 2011! Women are always talking about how independent they are and how they can provide for themselves. I'm surprised more women are not making the first move. I think its kinda sexy!"

S. Brown, female, who is more a traditionalist shares the opposite view. "There are some things that shouldn't change. Just because I am more independent doesn't mean I don't want to be chased. As a man, if you don't have the courage to approach me, then you must not be that interested."

But let's face it ladies, we are wondering where are prince charming is but are we making ourselves available for him to find us? If you're hiding behind unrealistic expectations and unrealistic standards then he is going to pass us right on by (we will be coming back to this topic in a future post)!

Whatever your views, one thing is for sure times are changing and too many of us are struggling to keep up!

Want more info? Check out these articles: AskMen.com or MSN Lifestyle

Risky Business

The usual grind

Interrupted by your presence

Heart racing, palms sweaty

My mind becomes heavy as I try to form words

Nothing comes out, yet I know I'm ready

It's now or never

One shot

I've planned this day for awhile

Yet it seems so sudden

What if the answer is no?

What if my anticipation is responded with laughter?

Snapped back into reality by the forward motion

Two minutes left; [Ding] next stop Risky Rd

Say something! Anything...c'mon!

Eyes closed shut

God please a little help here

I smile to myself as I watch my miracle slowly roll to my feet

E...E...excuse me miss, you dropped your pen

Oh, thanks. What's your name?

Jamal

Hi Jamal, I'm Melissa

Doors shut

[Ding] next stop Union Sq

-Original Poem by CherL

As Jamal can attest to, approaching someone can be a very anxiety causing ordeal. I think most of the anxiety comes from being in a vulnerable state. Vulnerability comes with the fear of being rejected, which is the opposite of what we seek; acceptance and ultimately love. In a past conference about Godly relationships, I learned that people respond to this anxiety in two ways. They either A) Take the risks for the possibility of higher rewards or B) Minimize risk to control the known. How does this translate in our relationship with others? Well, lets look at how Jesus does it. In a society that reveres conservative doctrines, Jesus' ministry always went against societal norms. He built relationships with sinners, the poor, and unbelievers at the risk of social rejection by His own. Jesus greatest commandment is to love others as He loved. His love involved taking risks so I think it's safe to infer that relationships do come with risks. So, for our single ladies out there, are we rejecting men because of the fear of the unknown? Are we afraid that the unknown is too costly? Are we waiting for seven signs of miracles and wonders for "The One" and possibly missing opportunities to build relationships around us? One of this blog's purposes is to serve as a platform to explore our relationships in a Godly manner in the same manner keeping it real with ourselves. We're not experts but through discussion and dialogue maybe we can help each other grow in our relationships with others.

POW

Phenomenally Outstanding Women

CherL & Jovi

Movie Review: The Adjustment Bureau

What if everything that has ever happened to you wasn’t an accident? Remember that time you tripped over your feet, you ran for the bus and still missed it, spilled coffee all over your shirt? What if everything in your life was supposed to happen? That was the plan. This is what David Norris, played by Matt Damon (The Bourne trilogy; Saving Private Ryan), is faced with in the action drama, The Adjustment Bureau. David is a young politician running for office when a “chance” meeting of Elise, played by Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada; The Young Victoria), changes his life forever. When one of the members of the bureau misses an assignment that they had for Norris, he ends up witnessing something he should not have. Was meeting Elise part of the plan or just by chance? What happens when you want something that was not part of the plan?

This high action drama was full of suspense and some humor to keep every viewer on their toes. The Adjustment Bureau is the perfect date movie because it has all the action to keep the fellas entertained and just the right amount romance to make every girl sigh. I was not a fan of the ending, but I will let you be the judge. The Adjustment Bureau gets 4.5 stars out 5. All around a good movie and who doesn’t like to see Matt Damon running? What a cutie!

~Jovi

Shecky's Girl's Night Out is Coming to Boston--And You Should Be There!

So my home girl Charisse is an entrepreneur, woman of God and an AWESOME sister. Sometimes you meet people who just change your life for the better...Anyway she sent this information about a really cool event that you ladies should check out. Enjoy!

Looking for a night out with your girls-- this is it! A few of you probably already know about the event, and perhaps you've actually attended it in the past. What I'm referring to is called Shecky's Girls' Night Out. It is a quarterly event that happens all over the US! This spring it will be in Boston March 23rd and 24th from 5pm-10pm! Vendors will be selling jewelry, bags, scarves, skin care, and things I can't even think of right now! With the purchase of an event ticket, you receive 5 free drink tickets, a goodie bag chock full of samples, and the chance to mingle, browse, or just shop til you drop! I am pasting the link in here, so you can check out the website, see what the event is about, and see what kind of vendors will be there.

http://www.sheckys.com/events/6070/girls-night-out-boston-spring-2011/?partners=6

Here's a little bit more info about Charisse who will be at this event:

"I do marketing for a skin care and beauty line called Artistry -it's actually one of the top 5 prestige brands in the world and one of the sponsors for the Miss America Pageant. A few friends/colleagues and I will be running an Artstry booth both nights at the event. I would love to see you come out to the event, have some fun with your fellow ladies, and maybe show some support. At the Artistry booth we will have products for sale, samples to give out, raffles to run, and answer any questions you have about your skin and beauty regimen. And even if you can't make it, please be sure to forward this event link on to anyone you think might be interested because it truly will be a night to remember!"

~Jovi